Thursday, May 21, 2009

The National Zoo (aka Adding to the Wanted Pets List)

A while back I asked Ana for somthing any husband should be able to ask his wife for: a pangolin.* Surprisingly, she told me that I can't have one. Since then, I've been keeping a list of all of the different animals she tells me I'm not allowed to have. That way, whenever we have someone over to the house and they ask a question like, "Hey Shawn, how come you don't have a wombat?" I can refer to my ready-at-hand list and reply with certainty, "Because of my wife."

Until the other day, the list looked like so:

Sun Bear? No.
Pangolin? No.
Raccoon? No.
Skunk? No.
Armadillo? No.
Wallaby? Yes.
Wombat? No.
Red Panda? Yes.
Koala? No.
Polar Bear? No.
Miniature Cow? Yes.
Cat? No.
Marmoset? No.
Pygmy Hamster? Yes (but only if I name it "Widget")
Penguin? No.

Odd, I know. I mean, who would be willing to have a miniature cow living in the backyard and yet be opposed to the idea of having an adorable, harmless, low-maintenance armadillo instead? How could you be williing to jump through all of the legal hurdles required to own a red panda and be unwilling to own a much easier-to-attain raccoon.

You're probably also noticing a handful of animals that I might like to own that are not on the list. These are the ones I've already had, such as a ferret**, goldfish, Chinchilla, Sugar Glider, rabbit, chipmunk, iguana, Argentine Horned Toad, newt, and crawfish. Since I've already owned at least one of each, I really don't need to push to get another one. Plus, the rabbit didn't get along very well with the dogs and I don't want to take any chances.
Anyway, to odd thing about the list was the seemingly randomly selected positives. Why a Red Panda and not a raccoon? Because she was actually looking at a Red Panda when she told me I could have one of them. Clearly. So naturally the first stop we had to make once we arrived in our nation's capitol was the national zoo.

Walking around at the zoo itself, it was easy. All I had to do was spend a few minutes with her watching cute fuzzy little animals doing cute fuzzy little animal things before I asked and she was suddenly willing to own all sorts of exotic wierdness. Now I can have otters and lemurs and meerkats and Golden Lion Tamarins. I probably could've even gotten her to agree to the Naked Mole Rat if I were so inclined. I really wish I'd've thought of this before.
Note, while the tamarins were kinda cute:
I think I prefer the lemur:
The whole trip was a great success. Even if there were a few animals I didn't think to ask about:
There were also a few that she decided she wants without my even having to ask, such as this elephant shrew:
While it looks fairly unremarkable from that angle, the snout on that little animal is ridiculously elongated and prehensile, so it can smell around corners.
There were also a number of animals I just plain didn't want:
In all, it was a good day, but after all of the hours of walking (and running) around, we were both a bit worn out:
*A pangolin, also known as a spiny anteater, is essentially a normal anteater covered in scales (similar to fingernails) instead of fur. They are indigenous to South America, they eat insects, they're prized for their meat, and they're endangered.
**The ferret was actually a pretty cool pet despite the fact that he was deaf, stinky, and riddled with cancerous tumors when I got him. He also lived to be a bit over eight years old (that's like 230 in ferret years) before I had to put him down. But that's a story for another time.

No comments:

Post a Comment