Impractical Military Vehicle of the Week: the Baumgartl Heliofly

When it comes to wild ideas for military vehicles in World War II, the Germans always seemed to take the lead. While most of these concepts never managed to get off the ground, the Heliofly actually did. Literally.

Paul Baumgartl started tinkering with the idea in the mid-1930s. What he originally saw as a toy for wealthy sportsmen evolved into a revolutionary transportation gimmick for the German Army. The concept was to strap a miniature helicopter onto an infantryman's back, making the German supersoldier able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. The first version (Heliofly I) was built and ready for testing in 1941:


With no tail rotor or counterweight to offset the torque of the spinning rotor blades, the device amounted to little more than an autogyro glider that would slow the pilot's (aka the impending casualty's) descent to a very hard landing. Any sudden increase in throttle would've sent the pilot spinning around the shaft in the opposite direction of the rotors. In effect, Baumgartl had developed a flying, twirling, vomit sprinkler.

The improved version conceived for military use consisted of a pair of rotor blades that would rotate in opposite directions around a common vertical shaft. Each rotor was independantly powered by a small engine that would also rotate around the shaft and act as a counterweight against the rotor blade. The notion was that this would make for a smoother, less dizzying ride.

Here's a couple of diagrams:




The problem though was that even with the improved counter-rotating design, flying it required an exceptionally strong pilot to wrestle the aircraft into submission. Supposing you could find the right kind of manpower, the learning curve for training them was pretty steep too.

When you add in the excessive per-unit cost of these devices, the Reich decided it made more sense to invest its dwindling resources into proven effective weapons and vehicles. Even if the Wehrmacht had decided to assemble a heliborne division, the slow airspeed would've made them exceptionally easy target for the bewildered Allied troops that met them on the battlefield.

While a strap-on helicopter may not have been good enough for Hitler, I still want one. The good news for me is that they're actually on the "things I can have" horizon. Weighing in at 165 pounds, the world's smallest helicopter is the GEN-H4, invented by Japanese rotorhead Gennai Yanagisawa. The prototype has been making the rounds giving demonstration flights:


By my way of thinking, the landing gear is a bit of a cop-out when it comes to strap-on helicopters though. I guess I'll just have to wait a few more years before some other Japanese guy figures out how to make the whole thing smaller.

Really it's only a matter of time.

Back in New Orleans. Again.

Last Thursday Ana and I flew from Baltimore down to New Orleans so she could participate in the change of command and retirement ceremony for RADM Whitehead, the admiral that she's been working for for the past three years. It turns out that the admiral who was replacing him is RADM Landry who she's been working for in DC.

For her part, she was singing the national anthem. When you consider the fact that her audience included the outgoing and incoming admirals, another newly frocked rear admiral she used to work with, the admiral in command of the Atlantic Area of the Coast Guard, and the Commandant of the Coast Guard, along with a whole host of her friends and co-workers, Ana had plenty to be nervous about. For my part I was just along for the ride and taking lots of pictures. Unfortunately the seating was prearranged and I was on the opposite side of the stage from where she was singing and the Color Guard was between us. So this was the only picture I got of her right before she started singing:


Once the change of command was over, I snapped this quick pic of the Commandant, LANTAREA commander, as well as RADM Whitehead and RADM Landry:


The plan for after the ceremony was to go to the Admiral's quarters for a retirement party, then go out for a few drinks with a handful of folks. Unfortunately, by the time we actually sat down we were so exhausted that none of us was up for going out afterwards.

The following day, Ana and I went out for breakfast and did a bit of wandering around in town. This time I actually remembered to take a few pictures:




Around noon, we decided to visit the National WWII Museum. We've talked about doing it every time I've been in New Orleans, but never actually gotten to it for some reason or another. As we pulled up we noticed that there was a huge crowd and a few of the streets around the museum were blocked off. That's when we realized that we'd inadvertently gone to the World War 2 Museum on the 65th anniversary of D-Day, the invasion of Normandy. Outside they had a wide arrangement of restored WWII-vintage military vehicles:


There were also dozens of reenactors in costume, including this guy on his cellphone jacking up the verisimilitude:


The museum itself had some amazing displays. Suspended from the ceiling they had a C-47 cargo transport plane that actually flew paratroopers into France and Belgium during the war. They also had an actual Spitfire and Messerschmitt fighter plane as well as a Douglass SBD divebomber all hanging from the ceiling. The main lobby also featured a fully restored Higgins boat and some other vehicles, but this particular little gem really caught my eye:

This windowless little tank looks odd at first, but it makes a tiny bit more sense when you look at it from another angle:


It's actually a Goliath tracked mine. This was a miniature, remoted-controlled tank loaded with up to 220 pounds of high explosives that could be driven up to or into enemy fortifications and detonated with the operator taking cover from a safe distance. I would've taken a lot more pictures, but Ana was giving me a look that suggested I was out of time:

I did manage to convince her to wander outside and look over all of the vehicles including this restored Navy Jeep:

As well as this beautifully preserved M4 Sherman tank:


Somewhere along the way Ana had to drag me away before I found some way to take one of them home. I guess I'll have to settle for finishing up the construction of my own tank. *sigh*

After the museum we went back to her place on the base to get changed and go out for dinner. I looked goofy as usual, but she got all sorts of prettied up:

We ended up with Elaina (who introduced Ana and I) and Sue (Ana's relief) as well as a couple of Sue's friends from out of town:


Dinner was phenomenal. I had frog legs for the first time and an amazing steak served in a horseradish sauce with a sauteed banana that turned out to be pretty tasty. When dinner was over it turns out Elaina had ordered up a custom cake from Sucre, a particularly good local bakery:


Apparently when she ordered this glittery little birthday cake she told the bakery it didn't need anything written on it because, "he knows it's his birthday." She also told them, "I want it to turn his tongue blue and make him poop sparkles for a month." The first part came true (we'll have to wait to find out about the rest):


While we were there, I also snapped a quick shot of their courtyard. It's pretty:


After dinner we headed over to the Bombay Club, a nice, quiet martini bar in a hotel near Bourbon Street:


Which was good because none of us were really interested in being part of the mob on Bourbon Street itself:


While we were there we caught up with Kristen, another officer who Ana used to work with. With all of the craziness surrounding the change of command, we were lucky she was able to come out that weekend:

We were out until nearly 0200 and we had a flight back to Baltimore at 0600 that same morning. To get there on time we had to wake up at 0400 and drag ourselves to the airport. I managed to stay awake for the drive and the flight and to drive from the airport to the hotel. When we finally arrived at the hotel room, Ana was unconscious within a few minutes:


We've got about two more weeks in DC and then it'll be time to set out on a cross-country road trip designed to cross the country in at least two directions, taking us to the North, South, East, and West.

Stay tuned...