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I make toys for kids who don't want to grow up. I'm on the lookout for new projects. If you're interested in commissioning me to build something ridiculous, shoot me an email.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I've Been Shopping for Jetpacks Again...

...and I have to admit I'm a bit disappointed.

This is the Twenty-First Century, ergo I (and any other average citizen) should be able to own a jetpack. While science fiction has promised all sorts of other supposedly more important things such as teleportation, a cure for cancer, or colonies on mars and the moon; I can't seem to get nearly as excited about those ideas as I am about the idea of strapping on a suped-up jet engine (or two) and a hi-octane fuel tank and going for a walk in the clouds.

In World War II Germans were experimenting with jumpjet systems for their army engineers to cross minefields without walking on them. Later, in Thunderball, James Bond made an escape before the opening title sequence by using the very real
Bell Rocket Belt. While they have existed, these things have been tantalizingly unavailable for purchase.

Until now. Now there are two viable commercial options. The Jetlev and the Martin Jetpack.

The more disappointing one is the "
Jetlev," shown here:


It looks cool at a glance, but on closer inspection you'll notice the large yellow hose attached to the back. The other end of that hose is attached to the "boat" which it drags along in the water behind the "jetpack." The boat does nothing but carry a pump driven by a 4-cylinder engine which supplies high pressure water that provides the thrust allowing the pilot to tool around on their local lake or whatever. The hose also serves as a tether preventing the pilot from reaching an unsafe altitude.

While the Jetlev seems like it might be a fun toy, it's just that. A toy. The tether/hose brings with it an inherent level of safety that seems contrary to the allure of a proper jetpack. Maybe it's entertaining for a few minutes, but it can't go over land and it can't kill you. What fun is that?

Closer to the jetpack image I've always envisioned is the Martin Jetpack, shown here:


You can read more about it at
http://www.martinjetpack.com/.

This one is actually self-contained and carries enough fuel to make a 31.5 mile jump. This is 30 minutes of flight time at the FAA-mandated maximum speed of 63mph (to classify it as an ultralight aircraft*). This also means that it could potentially run out of fuel while you're cruising along at an altitude of thousands of feet. Now we're talking.

There is a downside though. Although it's made out of the latest greatest lightweight carbon fiber composite materials, this beast still weighs in around 250lbs. Not exactly the wearable, ultra-portable alternative to, say, a helicopter that I'm hoping for.

These aren't the only commercially availabe jetpacks by any stretch, but they are the most sensible options. If you're so inclined, you can get a hydrogen peroxide-powered jetpack much like the Bell Rocket Belt at
www.jetpackinternational.com. If you're more thrifty and adventurous, there's a Mexican manufacturer making the same sort of thing and you can read about them at www.tecaeromex.com. Oddly, a Mexican-built jetpack is just a bit too adventurous (read: likely to kill you) for my tastes.

While those are the limits of commercially-available jetpacks, I'm still optimistic that there will be more, better versions available soon. Especially in light of the recent stories of a certain Swiss airline pilot/adventurer named Yves Rossy. Not too long ago he crossed the English Channel in his winged jetpack. Here's a shot of him wearing it:


The wings are folded up in the above photo. In practice, this guy hitches a ride on a normal plane until it reaches altitude. Then he drops from the plane, the wings unfold to the full size, the jet engines fire, and he takes off at speed.

Here's another shot of him in flight:
You may have read about him this past year when one of his engines failed and he landed by parachute in the Mediterranean Sea.


In my book he was really cool until they mentioned the parachute. For me, the jetpack always seemed like it should be the next advancement/alternative to the parachute. When your fighter plane gets shot down, you just eject, fire up your jetpack, then draw your pistol and you're back in the fight. But that's just me. Well, me and this one other guy:


So while we're getting closer, I don't think jetpack technology is quite where it should be yet. The ideal jetpack should be lightweight, able to fit in a suitcase or the trunk of a sports car, and have adequate range to take me from downtown Petaluma to somewhere in the vicinity of Moscow, stopping only to poop.** 

I'm going to be really disappointed in the world if I still don't have such a device twenty years from now. I can just see me now, sitting in my bubble-domed mansion on the moon, eating my meal-in-a-pill, and bitching about the lack of jetpacks to my robot butler.

*According to the FAA, a powered "ultralight" is a single seat vehicle of less than 5 gallons fuel capacity, empty weight of less than 254 pounds, a top speed of 55 knots, and a maximum stall speed not exceeding 24 knots. Restrictions include flying only during daylight hours and over unpopulated areas.

**I figure I can pee in flight as long as I'm above a certain altitude. By my calculations urine should break down into its component gases after falling a few thousand feet.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Thighs of Fiberglass...

It's taking me a bit longer than I'd hoped to build up steam on my various projects now that I'm back. In particular, I've made very little progress on the HALO armor. In between short trips all over the place and a bit of shopping, it's been a bit chilly outside, and given the choice between standing in the unheated workshop tinkering or driving around in my heated car taking care of various other chores, the chores win out.

That said, there's really no excuse for all of the delay in getting this stuff knocked out. In fact, I figured out the other day that my thigh prototypes have now taken me more actual hours of work to complete than it took to make my helmet and chest prototypes combined. There are excuses for this, but the delay has become embarassing.

So the other day I pulled them out of the project pile, reshaped the back corners (where the butt will be) and added a few details. At that point they looked like so:

The biggest problem is that I've now spent enough time away from the shop and studying reference materials that I've noticed oodles and gobs of little details that needed to be fixed or added. Here's another shot of the thigh details as they looked on one side:


On the other side I added on two little latches and a couple of small bits behind the knee, and then I scored the seam lines near the knee. After that, I decided I'd reached the zit stage of this piece (that's where you just need to leave it alone because messing with it any more will only make it worse).

With that done, it was time to make the whole mess of mixed media and found items all one color. Here's the left thigh smoothed out, detailed, and primed:



The last thing I allowed myself to add were these little bits at the back of the knees:

Once that was attached, I told myself that I have to stop improving them or I'd never actually produce any castings of these parts. Once I'd primed them I made myself busy on a few other projects for a while before test fitting:


I plan on making the castings rigid, so it's important that there's enough of a gap at the knee to be able to kneel, sit, run, dance, do jumping jacks, or whatever else comes up.* I used to not mind giving up comfort or mobility to make a costume look right, but I was spoiled by my last Spartan costume. Now they have to look right and be comfortable.

They'll fit great for anyone taller than me (I'm 5'7" tall) since this just means a bigger gap at the knees and hips. Once I've started pulling castings out of the molds, I might need to shave half an inch off the top of my pair in order to optimize the fit.

Of course I couldn't be sure until I tried them both on:


And verified my ability to strike iconic poses:


The inner thighs (which I still haven't prototyped yet) will be made of the same foam rubber and fabric combination as the rest of the undersuit. Hopefully they'll help to keep the thighs in place and prevent them from rolling around. I'm still working out the strapping system that will hold them to the belt.

Coming up: I'm going to be finishing up the larger sized version of the torso armor, remolding the my-sized version of the torso armor, forming my undersuit parts in foam rubber, making a prototype for the inner thighs, and re-inventing my boot molds so I can make the soles and the uppers more reliably.

Stay tuned...



*Stop thinking those sorts of things!

M60A1 US Marine Corps Main Battle Tank

OMG WANT!



Currently
listed on eBay. The description states:


"One of the very few M60's in private hands. This 1982 Chrysler built M60A1 is a USMC Desert Storm veteran. Now painted in Olive drab, it was once desert tan. The Marines were the last service to use the M60 and it has been upgraded with the reactive armor boxes that you see around the turret. There are no real guns or armament of any kind on this vehicle. All of the guns are simulated to look as original. The tank was demilled by torch cutting slices in the front hull and the turret sides. These have been repaired by welding, not with body filler. You can not tell it has been cut from the inside or outside. The tank runs and drives great. Near new track with all new road wheels. Some spare and extra parts are included. The tank is 52 tons and over 12 feet wide. It is expensive to transport. We will load at no charge and give names of transporters that can handle this super heavy load. This is the ultimate toy!"

I don't like their description though. I think I'd've pitched it more like so:

If you're looking for quality, then look no further. This tank has a cruising speed of 30mph and includes a variety of safety features such as up to three inches of reinforced steel plating and reactive armor designed to protect your passengers from short-range missile attacks. This is a 52-ton war machine!

Still not sure? Did I mention the tank is a tank?

Sold! I totally need to be a salesman!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Unseaworthy Vessel of the Week

I stumbled across this houseboat while I was wandering around Sausolito in the rain a couple of weekends ago:
Wonky Houseboat

It's so wonky and whimsical I just had to share.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Interesting Things From the Internets

I've been away from the internets for a while, so it's taken a few minutes to catch up on all of the coolness I've missed. Here's a few notables in no particular order...

First up, in case you've didn't know, there's a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street about to hit theaters. Here's a shot of the teaser poster:

In a reboot-happy hollywood, it's not a huge surprise that this is being made. The huge surprise is that somehow they've managed to make Freddy Kruger uglier than ever and actually frightening. I grew up with Robert Englund as Freddy, but this time around they've cast Jackie Earle Haley for the reboot. If you saw his performance as Rorschach in "the Watchmen," or the pedophile in "Little Children" you know he can do creepy better than anyone else.

Click here to watch the trailer on Myspace

There's also an upcoming sequel to TRON.

While I've been poking around looking for project ideas, I stumbled across Flickr user DROP HPC-ANC who does some really impressive street art. My favorite is his LEGO Grim Reaper:


Whenever I move ashore again, I want this guy to paint my house.

Elsewhere online, I've found yet another reason to finish my tank project:









Cool.

On the subject of random videos, I've also stumbled across this really great music video by OK Go, starring an impressive Rube Goldberg machine:







Suddenly I'd really like to set one of these things up.

Finally, I stumbled across some really amazing iPhone cases made out of billet aluminum or brass. The aluminum ones come in a variety of anodized finishes, but the brass ones really impressed me quite a bit more. The best of the best was brass with a wooden insert and an elaborate engraved design. I ordered one for Ana and she's been getting nothing but compliments on it wherever she goes:Engraved Brass iPhone Case

If you want one for yourself, go to www.exovault.com.

There's plenty of other amazing stuff I've stumbled across. These are the ones I most felt like sharing.