FOUND DOG

This irked me a little.

The other night I was leaving the folks' house and found a dog outside the gate. He was a cute, friendly, little French bulldog, it was late at night, and I was certain he'd get mushed by a car or mauled by local predators if he stayed out, so I brought him up to the house and left him with my mother:



He was clean, not neutered, and wearing a collar but no tags. I couldn't decide if he had been lost for a long time or was just a bit on the neglected side. Either way he was cute and if nothing else, I've got a sister who's in the market for a dog. This could only end well.

Early the next morning, I printed out some flyers to post around the neighborhood in an attempt to find his owner. As I turned onto my parents' street, I noticed bright green flyers stuck to every other telephone pole, signpost, and mailbox all the way down the road with pictures of this particular little animal.

Written across the top in huge letters were the words "LOST DOG" and beneath it, in only slightly smaller letters was the word, "REWARD."

When I called the owner, she drove right over and picked him up. More to the point, she drove right over in her brand new 5-series BMW, stepped out in her designer loungewear, flipped her carefully coiffed hair over one shoulder, gave me a perfectly manicured handshake, and thanked me profusely for finding her very expensive, pedigreed, purebred glamor pet.

She made no mention of the reward.

To be completely honest, I wouldn't have taken her money if she'd offered it. It's not like it really cost me anything to pick this little guy up off the street and put him up for the night. Still, it would've been nice to have the opportunity to turn it down. Instead I had to find some other way to fulfill my Boy Scout obligation and do a good turn daily.*

As she was leaving I asked what the dog's name was, just in case I see him again. It turns out they call him "Easy." I think I probably would've been doing him a favor if I'd kept him and never called her. Oh well.

*Helping old ladies cross the street is not as easy as it used to be. Nowadays they tend to use mace or call the police. Given the choice now, I prefer the mace.